Great news! As of this morning I officially weigh 13st13lbs.
In real terms, this means from the date I first joined weight watchers for the first time all those years ago (And I wish i still had the records from those days) I’ve lost 8 stone.
Or 51kg if you prefer.
Which is 36% of my original body weight.
Whilst it is clearly a massive milestone, it has taken a very long time to get there. Clearly, its only been through running that I’ve been able to lose the weight sustainably, and hopefully for good.
But for some reason, I don’t feel the same sense of accomplishment I thought I would.
Over the years I had one primary target weight, which was 14st10lbs, or a healthy BMI. I reached that back in 2014 and to be honest, even then it didn’t feel like a huge relief or point of celebration.
I’ve spent the last couple of years hovering between 14st1 and 15st ish. To put that period into context, I originally drafted this post on the 9th December 2014! Back then I weighted 14st 1lb and honestly thought I’d lose the 2lbs it would take to dip me under the mark. It never happened.
I’ve always wanted to break through that 8st mark, into the 13 stones but never really was able to make it and I lost hope that I’d ever really be able to do it. But with my recent London training I had a renewed vigor for it.
Has breaking through that plateau given me some sort of wild sense of elation? No, it hasn’t.
As a former fatty I watch all sorts of weight loss programs – from the normal to the extreme and see all manner of people changing their lives and celebrating big time when they reach their goals. But for me, my motivation has changed. At some point over the last couple of years, I’ve changed my approach from “I run to lose weight” to “I want to lose weight so I can run better”, and it sort of happened without me really noticing it.
I spent many years being upset, embarrassed and sometimes depressed about my weight. Even now I bloody hate seeing race photos with my belly wobbling about, but I’m not nearly as annoyed by them as I used to be. I’ve still got a ring of loose skin around my belly which I think is basically excess from when I was much bigger, and I don’t think that’s going anywhere without surgery. But I think I’m OK with that. In some ways its a trophy, or sign of just how far I have come. Maybe its marriage, maybe its fatherhood. Maybe its a mix of those things AND being at a healthy weight?
The most important thing above all though is health and I now feel that I am healthy, and I’ve done it in a healthy, sustainable way – through exercise – and that’s why i think I’ll be able to keep it off.
I still want to lose a bit more – my target now is 13st 5lbs which in theory will give me a body fat percentage int he “Athlete” zone which will be pretty cool, and then I want to maintain around there. Whilst I’ve spent that last few years hovering in the 14st mark, I’d like 13st13 to be my new “top end” with 13st 7lbs being my new normal.
But who knows? Unlike before I’m not going to get myself too worked up or too upset if I don’t.
I just want to be as lean as I can so I can run London as fast as I can…